Many adult Canadians are finding themselves in a “sandwiched” situation, where they are responsible for caring for both the generations that came before them and those that are coming after. Marci Gray, a resident of Brampton, Ont., is one such individual who feels this burden acutely. As the CEO and lead psychotherapist at Gray Matter Health, she juggles caring for her own children while also helping her aging parents and in-laws. Her grandmother, who is turning 106 this year, requires round-the-clock care, placing further strain on Gray’s already busy life. Despite having a large family to help share the caregiving responsibilities, Gray acknowledges that the journey has been difficult and has learned the importance of self-care in order to thrive.
Statistics Canada reports that millions of Canadians are unpaid caregivers for their loved ones, with many individuals caring for multiple persons. This demographic shift has created a “sandwiched” generation, where individuals are tasked with caring for both younger and older family members simultaneously. Arthur Sweetman, a professor of health and economics at McMaster University, notes that this phenomenon is a result of various demographic forces at play, including longer life expectancy, an aging baby boomer population, and delayed childbearing. As the demand for both paid and unpaid caregivers increases, the strain on individuals in their prime working years is becoming more apparent.
Unpaid caregiving can feel like an additional full-time job, according to a report from the Azrieli Foundation and the Canadian Centre for Caregiving Excellence. Caregivers provide an average of 5.1 hours of care a day, leading to physical, mental, and financial stresses. The demands of caregiving have taken a toll on many individuals, with half of caregivers experiencing financial distress related to their roles. Women, who are more likely to take on direct care and scheduling appointments, report worse outcomes in their own well-being, finances, relationships, and careers compared to men in similar caregiving situations.
The unequal burden of caregiving falls disproportionately on women, who often feel responsible for taking on the majority of caregiving tasks. Marci Gray recognizes this pattern in her clients and herself, noting that women often feel the need to bear the caregiving responsibilities alone. Gray emphasizes the importance of delegation and negotiation in sharing caregiving responsibilities, particularly for women who may feel overwhelmed by the weight of it all. Creating a balance between caring for others and caring for oneself is essential for survival, Gray says, as caregivers must prioritize their own well-being in order to continue thriving.
For many caregivers, especially those without a strong support network, learning to delegate and negotiate with others is crucial for maintaining their own health and wellness. Gray suggests that taking a vacation can be a vital step in forcing caregivers to find alternative arrangements and share the responsibility with others. Without breaks from caregiving, individuals may find the task unmanageable and detrimental to their own physical and mental well-being. Building in breaks and self-care practices is essential for caregivers to not only survive but also thrive in their roles.
As the population ages and the demand for caregiving increases, it is important for individuals, particularly women who often bear the brunt of caregiving responsibilities, to prioritize self-care and seek support from others. The pressures of being sandwiched between caring for older and younger family members can be overwhelming, but by learning to share the responsibility and take breaks when needed, caregivers can better manage their own well-being while still providing quality care for their loved ones.
