Nicola Prentis, a single mom to two sons for five years, found herself to be overly judgmental toward single dads when she started dating. She struggled to see beyond her own experiences with her ex-partner and the custody battles to give single dads a fair chance. She found herself unable to connect with men who had children, whether they had equal custody or saw their kids less frequently, as it triggered negative emotions and insecurities in her own life.
As a result, Prentis stopped using dating apps and now only dates men she already knows, specifically seeking out non-fathers. She is not looking for someone to be a father figure to her children, preferring to keep her two worlds separate. She found navigating dating apps as a single mother to be challenging, as mentioning her children early on often led to men losing interest. Dating men without children has proved to be less complicated, with some showing respect for her situation having been raised by single mothers themselves.
Prentis has found dating men without children to be a simpler and more carefree experience, as she is free from the constant issues and tensions that can come from dealing with an ex-partner. By keeping dating simple and sticking to men she already knows, Prentis has been able to focus more on her motherhood duties while enjoying her breaks from parenting. She prefers not to deal with potential blending of families or juggling exes, instead finding comfort in casual, less intense relationships at this point in her life.
In the five years since becoming single, Prentis has found that about a third of the men she’s been interested in have been single dads, with the majority being non-fathers. All of them were aware of her children. By dating men she is already friends with, even if they live in other countries, she has been able to maintain a level of comfort and familiarity in her romantic relationships. While non-fathers can be busy with travel, hobbies, and friends, they offer a less demanding relationship dynamic compared to single dads who may be seeking a life partner.
Overall, single motherhood has presented Prentis with its own complexities, leading her to prefer simplicity in her dating life. By choosing to date men without children and avoiding the complications that come from blending families and navigating ex-partners, she has been able to focus more on her role as a mother while enjoying her off-duty days. As a single mom, she appreciates the ease and freedom that comes with dating men who are understanding and respectful of her situation, allowing her to prioritize her children while still maintaining a fulfilling romantic life.
